Ken Socrates

Sports has always been an important element of the Ken Socrates World News Organization. A lot of so called serious media outlets spend little or no time on the subject apart from the most blatant references to those athletic stories that have crossover appeal in the “human interest” arena. I’m sorry, but Brian Williams introducing yet another fluff piece about Michael Phelps’ diet is to sports journalism what Mary Hart asking Barack Obama for his Oscar predictions is to the political beat. The same could be said for the watery offerings we get from what are perceived as respectable sources like Sports Illustrated, HBO Sports or even ESPN. Often it’s just more sensationalist, sychophantic, tabloid reporting that panders to the uninformed viewer/reader and glorifies the diva-like nature of professional atheletes.

In other words, fresh, steaming crap.

Here at the KSNWO we like things a little bit harder. Thankfully, we have a woman on staff who does, too. Her name is Chippy McGuinness and she recently claimed the spot of Editor and Head Writer of our Sports Department. Honestly, there were other candidates, but Chippy simply was not to be denied. I still recall how, during our initial interview for the position, she grabbed me by the lapels, dragged me to an open window and dangled me out, four stories above the pavement, until I took back what I said about Bobby Clarke being a cheap shot artist. But that’s how it works around here. You want a spot on the team, you better be prepared to drop the gloves in the preseason a couple times and show us you mean business.

So, yeah, Chippy is indeed a Flyer’s “fan”. I use parentheses because that term, though derived from the word “fanatic”, doesn’t do adequate justice to the level if devotion she has for the team. Simple “fans” don’t attempt to attach car bombs to Eric Lindros’ BMW when he demands a trade out of town. They don’t spend four months wandering hopelessly through Amsterdam after the team makes an early exit from the Stanley Cup Playoffs. And though it may color her perceptions to some degree, it does nothing to impinge upon her resume and unquestionable expertise when it comes to all things puck. Chippy knows the NHL like Roger Clemens knows hypodermic needle etiquette and brings the sort of fearlessness to her work that Rick Tocchet brought to the right wing position. So it’s a good bet that her stuff will always be hard-hitting, tough and edgy.

What a shock that an old school Boston Bruins fan would want someone like that around, eh?

So here’s the latest from the Sassy Lass Behind The Glass, an editorial on the hottest topic in the NHL right now, entitled Sean Avery – Victim. As you’d expect, her take on the most recent exploits of The Mouth That Roared are almost as controversial as Mr. Avery’s own perspective on the subject of carnal knowledge in the modern NHL.

Enjoy it as we did but remember, with Chippy’s stuff, as always, you have to keep your head up when you’re crossing the blue line. Or you will end up like Eric Lindros, getting coloring books for Christmas for the rest of your life and loving it.

More on our Chippy right here.